Shoulder Bags and Other Accessories

March 16, 2013

Shoulder Bags and Other Accessories

            Some of my fondest childhood memories have to do with our weekly summertime routine of driving around to yard sales, more honestly called rummage sales in those days.  My mother and another neighborhood mom would throw all the kids in the car and off we would go on our treasure hunt. In the old days there was some economic necessity involved in searching for a good bargain at a yard sale.  These days, however, the excitement of a unique find is my primary motivation. I still love a good flea market, estate sale, or, even, a trip to Goodwill.  The local Value Village has a half off sale the last Wednesday of every month……I mark it on my calendar.  Coming from that kind of background, it’s no surprise, then, that one of the most delightful aspects of my daily walk is all the cool stuff I find on the shoulder of the road.

            The first thing I remember finding on my walk was a promotional bag made from recyclable materials like the reusable shopping bags sold in grocery stores.  The name imprinted on the side sounded like a technology firm or a pharmaceutical company-----“Mega-prima-dyne” or “Ultra-acme-sync.”  Anyway, it was a clean and dry, tan bag with a drawstring that I used to bundle up some clothes for Goodwill---circle of life.

            I’ve come across several more bags in the last year, but a lot of other things as well.  Of course, I’ve found money, lots and lots of pennies, but quite a bit of other change, too.  I even found a dollar bill one morning after a nighttime storm.  Clinging damply to the grass at the edge of the pavement, in another ten minutes it would have been dry enough to flutter away.  How the money gets on the road intrigues me.  Do people throw money out car windows?  Are there really enough numbers of people walking on the road with holes in their pockets or change falling out of their pants to account for the amounts I find? I figure I’m averaging two or three cents a day. I’m saving for a Lexus.

            Another puzzle had to do with the number of razor blades I noticed on the shoulder of the highway.  Why would people throw single-edged razor blades out the car window?  The answer came to me after I saw the first of many discarded syringes.  I’ve noted in an earlier post that lots of interesting activities are occurring in cars traveling along the highway.  Obviously, there are some terrifying ones as well.

            Happily, I’ll never have to buy another bungee cord.  I’ve found eight of them this year.  Most of them have been the black, thick rubber kind clearly meant for heavy duty tasks, but there have been a few light-weight, colorful ones, too.  I imagine ladies with gardening gloves using those to secure flats of annuals in the back of their Volvos.   I wouldn’t have thought that there’s a lot of skill involved in using a bungee cord, but, clearly from the number I’ve found on the road, I don’t understand the expertise required.

                        My long list of found objects includes a fan belt, a pair of safety goggles, three pairs of sunglasses, a grouting sponge—still in the package, most of a roll of weed whacker string, a nut driver—which sounds provocative, but is just a hand tool—which sounds provocative, a pair of work gloves, and a crowbar. Why does a heavy, metal crowbar get thrown to the side of the road….someone trying to ditch the evidence?  I also found a Missouri vehicle license plate and an Illinois driver’s license.  The driver’s license belonged to a twenty-something young man with light brown hair and blue eyes. I anonymously mailed the license back to the address on the card.  I imagine the kid reacting either happily—“Hey, dude! Somebody sent my license back!”—or in freaked paranoia—“Duuude…..who would send my license back?”  Both scenarios make me grin.

            Speaking of grinning, in December I found the treasure that brought the biggest smile to my face.  Lying in the grass, all shiny red and round, was a giant Rudolph nose that had obviously fallen off the front of someone’s automobile.  I attached it to my own car, and, throughout the holidays, the sight of it never failed to make me giggle.  Next year I hope to find the antlers.

            Lots of children’s toys and parts of toys end up on the side of the road.  When I spy their bright, primary colors or sparkly pieces of trim, I wonder if they’ve been accidentally dropped or deliberately tossed, the victims of a cruel older sibling or a fed up parent.  The most disturbing toy part I discovered was a tiny, disembodied Santa head that stared at me with blank, black eyes and a benign smile as it rolled gently back and forth in the breeze—a very Stephen King moment.  Recently, I found an intact blue and orange, plastic space gun.  I’m certain it was set for stun before its intrepid owner was forced by some marauding alien to drop it on the side of the road.  I’ll keep it close at hand in case I encounter the nasty fellow on my daily walk, and he tries to snatch one of my found treasures.